Posts (page 2)

Haven't updated my blog in a few days... Felt like I've been gone for ages! LOL.

Anyways, had to spend some alone time... the past few days hasn't been that easy for me... trying to move on and stuff. But one thing I realized, no matter how I try to move on, my heart will always belong to him. It's like he had it locked up in a vault and I can't take it back.

My friend sent me an sms quote this morning and it echoes my thoughts now...

The greatest challenge in my life is to find someone who knows my faults and weaknesses but still willing to embrace me with so much love without doubt...

I hope in time he finds me...

Zoo - Pain in my heart

Zoo

Here I am alone in this empty room,
and let my mind just fly you to the end.
Thoughts of you still linger in my memory,
wondering why my life is not that fair.

I could still recall, those memories of you,
the joy and all your laughter,
the love that we've been through.
Oh I can't believe, you're gone...

I don't want to remember,
the things we used to do,
all the things that remind me of you.
I don't want to hear those songs,
those songs we used to sing,
'cause I don't wanna feel the pain in my heart

Talkin' to my self, for reasons I can't find.
Findin' out why everything went wrong.
Tears fallin' down on my cheeks,
that I've been tryin' to hold.
I just dunno if I could still go on.

I wanted you to stay,
the tears began to show,
you said you care for me,
but then you have to go
and now I know, you're gone.

I don't want to remember,
the things we used to do,
all the things that remind me of you.
I don't want to hear those songs,
those songs we used to sing,
'cause I don't wanna feel the pain in my heart

Having moved on with my life, I edited some of my posts (especially the more personal ones). Funny, it felt like I was editing my LIFE.

While editing, I couldn't help reading them again... Just over a month ago, I couldn't seem to let go. I was so full of hope that things would get back to the way they used to. Despite all the advices of me letting go, I found it hard to listen to their advice. I had to take my time healing. Now, almost 2 moths after the "i need space" thing, I'm all good. In fact, I found a "special someone" who is patient enough in helping me recover.

Of course, I can't rely on other people to help me recover. It just so happened he came at a point in my life where my mind was definitely ready to move on and let go, but my heart was still reluctant. Now, I finally have both on the same level.

Good luck to me!

I don't know who wrote this but I like the message.. makes sense...

Some lessons are best learned through pain. Sometimes our vision clears only after our eyes are washed with tears. Sometimes we have to be broken so we can be whole again.

If God meant the day to be perfect, He wouldn't have invented tomorrow. So don't worry if today wasn't perfect 'coz we still have tomorrow. And if there's anything in our heart that feels right, go after it, no matter what it takes.

Maybe I could have loved him better...
Maybe he should have loved me more...

Maybe our hearts were just next in line...
Maybe everything breaks sometimes...

We'll never know what could have been...
Maybe someday he'll regret it...

Maybe someday he'll think it was the best decision he ever made...

But maybe someday he'll see me smiling and happy...
Along with someone who has my heart.
'Coz someday, someone's going to thank him for letting me go...

A friend sent this to me via sms last night... and I couldn't help relating to it sooo much that I thought of posting it. After almost two months of "riding the emotional roller coaster" because of my ex, indeed, someone has come along, giving me reason to smile, giving me something to look forward to.

And now I find myself at a crossroad... will I let this new person in into my life? Or will I turn my back and wait what happens; is there still reason for me to hang on to my past relationship? If there's one thing that I need now, it's CLOSURE. It's the only thing holding me back from completely moving on.

Maybe one these days I'll find the answer...

Love doesn't always end up with a happy ending...
Sometimes, it ends up with one conclusion. But even though it ends up with bitterness and full of heartaches, I would do it all over again...

Love is pathetic, naive, full of sorrows;
Lots of patience, millions of understanding;
Overflowing with pain...

It makes our life miserable, makes our life suck...
Love ruins our life...

But I guess a life without love is not life after all...

It hurts to miss someone who doesn't know how to miss me...
It hurts to love someone who doesn't love me back...
It hurts that I'm still keeping him inside, even if he's no longer mine...

But most of all, it hurts when I know I have to let go and move on but my heart is too paralyzed and stubborn to do so.

Do you know what's the most painful thing in the world?

- It's when you both love each other and yet you couldn't patch things up...

Where's the pain?

-It's when one decided to end it up...and the other has no choice but to give up.

I was listening to my mp3 playlists (and arranging them as well according to genre), when a thought hit me... I had posted a lot of songs in my blog but never my "love" song for "him". It was my song for him before, when I first realized that I was falling in love with him, until now... 'coz somewhere deep in my heart I still love him... "I need you boo, I gotta see you boo.."

Here it is, audio and lyrics of "With You"

Chris Brown - With you

Chris Brown